How PR can become a train wreck,
Now Macdonald’s can pick up the check:
Instead of saying “yum” -
Folks found cadmium,
In glasses adornéd with Shrek.
Archive for the ‘Business’ Category
Blecch!
Friday, June 4th, 2010This is Growing Old
Saturday, May 29th, 2010In humanity’s lust for “black gold,”
We forget that we’re being sold,
The true cost is hid,
Of life we’ll be rid,
And disaster’s a bitch to behold.
All Comparisons Inside
Friday, May 28th, 2010Unlike Exxon BP folks weren’t drunk-caught.
The size of their leak still debunked lots.
But I have to proclaim,
There’s no more fitting name –
For all efforts to stop it than “junk shot.”
Stopped Thrill
Thursday, May 27th, 2010The “top-kill” attempt so far working,
Suppose that means I should stop smirking,
But why not tried first?
Likely earnings gone burst?
Or was it collective chain-jerking?
Adrift in the Private Sea
Sunday, May 16th, 2010If any should wear a disgraced look,
I nominate gladly this ace crook:
Nixing your concerns,
For profit returns;
I mean the CEO of Facebook.
Greed is the Creed
Saturday, May 15th, 2010This business sure showed a devotion,
To the dollar and not to the notion,
That there should be safety,
Instead proving hasty;
I’m talking of bastards TransOcean.
Here are three things worth knowing about Transocean:
In 1999, Transocean moved overseas, leaving its headquarters in Delaware to incorporate in Switzerland (which is bordered on all sides by land) to dodge U.S. taxes. As a result of its move, the company reduced its tax burden by 50%.
Just yesterday, Transocean cited an 1851 law in a court filing requesting that its liability be limited to $27 million. Transocean claims the law in question limits the total liability of maritime operators to the cost of the vessel that sunk. It has already collected hundreds of millions in insurance.
Deepwater Horizon was one of 35 Transocean rigs sailing under the flag of the Marshall Islands, known to have weaker safety standards than other nations.
Missed Statement
Friday, May 14th, 2010Not meaning to come across whiny,
How big a leak can be called “tiny?”
BP’s Tony Hayward,
His rational wayward,
Should be kicked out, post-haste, on his heiny.
In an bullish interview with the Guardian at BP’s crisis centre in Houston, Hayward insisted that the leaked oil and the estimated 400,000 gallons of dispersant that BP has pumped into the sea to try to tackle the slick should be put in context.
“The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean. The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume,” he said.
Has anyone else noticed that every attempt BP has tried to contain the leak has involved some way to “collect” the oil? Do they only see dollar signs and not environmental impact? From the large “dome” that they attempted to lower over the leak (which had a way to bring the leaking oil to a collecting vessel overhead) to today’s attempt to plug a smaller pipe into the leak (that will only capture around 85% of the leaking oil), BP has been concerned only with trying to get at whatever oil they can.
Maybe it’s time to start thinking about shutting the WHOLE THING down. How about blowing up a 1/4 mile of the sea floor? Perhaps the rubble will contain the leak. Maybe they should drop 1,000 tons of concrete onto the leak. STOP TRYING TO CUT YOUR LOSSES, BP. Get it done.
Two Heads are Better Than One
Sunday, May 9th, 2010Send to BP a memorandum,
That at first glance may appear random:
You wish to stop leaking.
Solution you’re seeking?
A monster-sized non-latex condom.
BP is trying a new tactic:
They’ll cover the sea floor with plastic?
They’d have much better luck,
If first gave a f*ck,
And tried a giant prophylactic.
Greece the Skids
Friday, May 7th, 2010Goldman Sachs the whole world did fleece,
Setting economies to decrease.
Let me say with great ardor,
That none were hit harder,
Than the citizenry of Greece.
Yes, I’m all caught up! Thank you, faithful readers, for hanging in there. Let’s see how long I can keep ahead!
Robots Need Grease to Operate
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010Politicking is sometimes an art.
Schwarzenegger sure made a good start,
As his terms come to end,
Our coastline he’ll mend.
Turns out Terminator is smart.
Headline from the above link: Gov. Schwarzenegger Withdraws Support For Offshore Drilling Project In CA After BP Oil Debacle
Mane-lining Our Oil Addiction
Monday, May 3rd, 2010For so long I’ve been saying prayers,
About oil-leaking affairs,
But the head of BP,
As seen on TV,
Appears to be just splitting hairs.
When repealing equals stealing
Sunday, May 2nd, 2010If we want to strengthen the Eagle,
Restore an economy regal,
It’s becoming quite true:
The thing we must do:
Is bring back the law called Glass-Steagle!
How did it happen that Goldman Sachs, and the other large investment banks, came to be playing both ends of the same deal? It happened like this.
In 1999, the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act was passed. The act repealed part of a law dating back to 1933 called the Glass-Steagall Act. That’s a lot of names in a short time, but the quick version is that Glass-Steagall was passed to control the rampant speculation that had helped cause the collapse of banking at the outset of the Great Depression. Glass-Steagall specifically divided the banking industry so that banks issuing loans, insurance firms providing coverage, and firms offering investments were strictly separated.
Gramm-Leach-Bliley removed those limitations. It also knocked down rules that had placed some limits on bank size, allowing banks to grow larger through acquisition and mergers. Which is why some of these banks became such economy twisting monsters. But the size limits wouldn’t have mattered without the fuel that allowed the banks to grow so large. That fuel was provided by tearing down the walls between loans, insurance, and investments. It’s this, not any single incident at Goldman or anywhere else, was the core reason for the Great Recession.
Staring Contest
Monday, April 26th, 2010Please read the “Re:” as the truncated “re” and not the elongated “regarding” that it refers to. This will allow you to maintain the limerick’s rhythm. Today’s limerick references the fact that Republicans were threatening to filibuster financial reform… or NOT!
In an effort to be less distinct,
And avoid a GOP extinct,
Re: financial reform,
Bucking the norm,
The GOP Senators blinked.
Remember
Tuesday, June 1st, 2010Right now we are all being schooled:
Government is just big oil’s tool…
But let us recall,
As disaster enthralls,
Which party most loosened the rules!
Tags: BP, Oil Spill
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